Weekend was good! Sort of. I was a little stressed days before I had to come back to Bp. But it was good to spend time with family who I can't meet that often. I live there for almost 2 years when I went to uni there, so it was kind of like a second home. Not second now, but somewhere I can feel like home if I want to. Meet my cousins; all/3 of them. I go there for one of them, and I'm happy I was able to make it (thanks for the chinese teacher for having something else and couldn't make it for class). My cousin and her boyfriend get engaged. We all saw that coming so it wasn't that surprising, but I'm so happy for them. Even if they won't get married soon. And my cousin's coming back Hungary in January. And will stay!!!

Coming back was like hell. I almost cried all day when I thought of it. I hate coming back. I'm fine when I'm here, but . . .I just hate it.
And coming back when You have to come back to someone you are angry at is not so good either. ok, it's my fault being mad since we haven't even talked since I went away, but I hate when people don't call back, or if you don't have money on your phone I don't know. And a lot of other things too. Maybe I'm too inpatient with her. Whe spend so much time together and don't know. At least we haven't had to discuss my bad behavior for a month now. Abou how I can be not too nice sometimes, and say things that hurt others. And I sitting there listening to what she talks about and don't even understand half of it. And when I say I'll try to be more careful, then it's not good either because she doesn't want me to have to careful around her. Then what the hell should I do? I have never said everything that was on my mind, I hold half of what is on my mouth because I know it might hurt her. So what now?
I just get angry inside my head. And in school between classes I'm reading and listening to music
But we are good since than. I don't know, just had to give it out

Today was almost good. Had 2 classes I don't really care about. Might be interesting, but something off with the teachers. one of them is very nice, really, he is 78 years old if I remember correctly and it's so hard to understand what he is saying. I always read in his class, well sorry about it.

And today we had the first calligraphy club. It was so good. there was about 8 japanese women who helped us. And a guy who did the translation. I almost undertand everything, so it was good. We didn't have too much time today, they explained how we have to hold the brush and how we have to move. It was interesting. I'm lucky, I'm good with this kind of stuff. The woman, who was with me was very nice. We write? paint? 川、river today, cause it's very easy to do, and after I finished my first the woman asked me: you're not doing this for the first time, right? And I was: It is my firs time. Ok I did once 5 years ago on animecon, and onec last year on an exhibition, but I've never learned how to do it. And she showed it to some other and started talk about how good it is. It made me proud ^__^

So I'm good for now.
And should go to sleep already

Didn't go to the morning class. Yesterday I wasn't feeling too well so I thought I will sleep a little longer. But Seiji was nice yesterday, he said since I already finished what we had to do I can go home to sleep. I didn't think I looked sick. Well he somehow always notice these things.

Oh, the Miyavi concert, about 2 weeks ago was absolutely fantastic. Really. Well standing in the line over hours, and not getting too much oxygen in the concert hall was not so great, but worth it. He was so cool and nice. And omg I love his voice. But not so much an idiotic fans XD
He said some word, sentence in hungarian, he said I Love You too, and it's not an easy world to pronuunce!
One of my favorite part was when he noticed someone waving with a NOT Miyavi uchiwa (what was these people thinking). He was like: "嵐、なんで？嵐じゃないよ。Ｊｈｏｎｎｙ'ｓじゃないよ。" Why Arashi? I'm not Arashi. I'm not a Jhonny's. It was so funny. One of my classmate said she saw an Akanishi uchiwa, so maybe he was Arashi XD
The concert was so powerful. It was like an energy bomb was thrown at you, like you had everything you've ever wanted, and when it's over it leaves you with nothing.
It made me depressed.

I like it here, I really do. But I hate that I can't be there.

I'm tired, and everything getting at me at the same time so I get sick. I really hate when I can't breath properly through my nose.
I so would like to talk to someone about this thing but I can't. It's not like I don't have friends, I have, and a very good ones. But I just, don't know ... not the type. I want somebody who can break me and get behind my walls, my walls what I don't know when or why built.

Some good thing happening too. Can't wait tomorrow. I'll go my grandparent's home where I lived 2 years when I was in another Uni, and my mother and cousins will be there to, And next week Kyo-chan will come. I'm a little worried though. My cousins here only for 2 weeks,and it usually breaks me down when they go back to England. And when Kyo will go away again . . . If it wasn't hard enough for the first time. Even thinking about it makes me cry


And now got to go and write kanji homework for the Starters class.
I hope i won't kill anyone at school. People makes me irritated too easily these days. And for boring classes I bought 2 book on Monday so I'll then I'll be ok.
And try to get myself together 'cause my mail friend from Japan is here again and will meet her after school so I don't want to look like a zombie XD

Take care

It's half past 6 in a weekday and I'm in bed. I can't believe it.
In the last month I was working in the morning so I had to get up at 3:45 every day - not on the weekend of course - go to work, and then go to school. I was so tired all the time. But it's over now!!!!
Uni is good. There are some boring class of course, but the others are fairly interesting.
I'm attending to starter japanese class too. We have hiragana and katakana test today. It makes not too much sense to go that class to start japanese from the start again, but I need credits, and the teacher is very nice so she doesn't mind. And we can help the others - who doesn't mind that we know so much more than she/he is - with studying.

$AND . . . Today Mivayi concert!!!!!!! Can't wait to see him!!!!

I should start to get ready for school soon
yeeyyy . . .

I'm tired
I wanna go home already!!!

Just came back from a J-party. It was not so good
It was a busy week, at least the second half.

There was a funeral at Thursday. My father's cousins girlfriend died. I haven't met them for a long tim. The last thing I remember about her, when I was around 10 and we all cerebrated Christmas together, and that was more than 12 years ago.
I didn't cried at the funeral. It wasn't easy bit I managed somehow, so it's still inside me. My next crying will be a big one...

On friday there was nothing much to do, but we were trying out make-ps and hair set so we went to bed at 5.30 in the morning XD

On Saturday we went to Sziget Festival. It's a big concert festival here in Budapest. There's a lot of stages and a lot of band is coming. there are different kind of stages. I think it's about 5 days.
We went on Saturday because there was Placebo concert on the main stage. Oh, the concert was so good. They are so cool. And the drummer. Wow. It was just great!!!!!

And today J-party. It was the worst of all. The music was so, soo bed! I really don't mind if I don't know the music they are playing, but it's a party, and it's fucking boring when you can't dance at a party, because the music is just that bad.
I don't understand why the DJs didn't care about that only 10 people was dancing, the others was waiting for a miracle to happen so they will be able to dance too. Don't get me wrong, the music was just fine. But definitely not for a party.
Unfortunately the tequila didn't helped either to make the tension goes up T__T And it was expensive.

And here I'm already packed, because we'll go to Austria tomorrow ot work. for a week. It's physical work so I hope I'll be able to sleep in the care on the way there, 'cause it's 3 a.m. now and we'll leave at 8.

So I'm going to sleep now.
No internet for a week T__T
Can't wait to be back!!!!

So much happened since the last time I posted . . .

- the japanese test I wrote about last time. I got 92%, so I think I did pretty good ^__^ I was super happy about it

- Kyo-chan went back to Japan T__T We lived together for half a year so I miss her very much!!!! I haven't cried as much i the past year as I cried when we went to the airport. And haven't been that drank like the night before XD
But she will come back to visit in October. Sooo please be october soon!!!

- new girl in the next room. One of my best friend so it's more than ok <3

- GET INTO UNIVERSITY!!!!!!!!!
More and more japanese learning from now on. And chinese too XD
Can't wait it to start!!!!!!
My (living together) friend too. We'll be together every day, every class. I hope it'll be ok XD


I think that's it in short.
I get depressed over Japan again. But it's not that bad like last year so it's ok this far. There's nothing much I can do about it. Have to study very good, and save a lot of money, so I can go as soon as possible. Next year would be fine with me.
KAT-TUN makes me depressed as well. Can't read more interview
Drawing makes me calm down, so after 2 years I draw this.



I think I will draw more often after this.



I'm home so I will watch TV tonight.
By the way in the last two days I watched The Green Mile, Heaven's Door and Don't Say a Word.
After The Green Mile you can see why I'm not so fond of people in general. Don't Say a Word was good again, i like that movie. And Heaven's Door was good too. I haven't wanted to watch it 'cause for some reason I get all tearful on the trailer too, but I'm glad I did. My first time watching something Nagase Tomoya has in it. And surprisingly Nino too XD


I like to write here. I should do it more often
I will try

Just a quick poop up, cause I start to get sleepy and still have a lot of stuff to do XD

I have a japanese exam tomorrow, have to get up sooo early. Still don't know what should I wear, not like it will matter 'cause I'll die from this fucking hot weather in anything.
And the best: I have to check min. 500 kanji reading. But after that I can go to sleep and hopefully have a dream without exams and stuff like that.

A little happy thing /not like the first wasn't one because I like learning japanese. Just don't like exams/
There was an animecon this weekend and I managed to buy manga in japanese. I was so happy. I bought it, even when my flatmate said that she will send me anything I want when she'll be back in japanese.
Here's a picture. A bought some other stuff too. And somehow my Miyavi concert ticket is on the picture too. I'm just so happy about it, so I couldn't leave it out XD






So anyone who read this please cross fingers for me tomorrow. from 8 a.m. till 12 to be exact.
It has to be good, otherwise I will go out of my mind

Rest in Peace

Marian Kozma
(1982-2009)

Something wrong with me today, well not just today but . . . My mood goes up and down and up and . . .

Friday was so good!!!! I meet a friend ^__^ I had to get up early in the morning so I decided that I don't want to sleep at all, 'cause if I go to sleep I'll hate to get up even more!!! I wanted to finish a multichapter fanfiction, but my net died at 2a.m.. After that I watched a little bit Gokusen 2 and went to sleep T__T. I was so tired in the morning. I sept a little in the train so it was ok. We ate breakfast and went to shopping. I didn't buy anything, but regret it later. We drink some amazing ice tea before I had to go to the train station. My train was late and had to stop several times because something went wrong with something. I didn't pay too much attention. it was so hot, my head started to hurt and 3 little kid enjoyed the ride in full volume. I almost got a hissy fit several time. I arrived a hour later. And not home. My family went to a friend place. So my brother and a friend come to pick me up. After dinner and when my headache was gone we went to the beach. It was so cold!!!!! but it was good to see the place where I spend almost all my time as a child ^__^
In the weekend I was working. I missed my little boy so much!!!! He is so cute!!!!
And we played with a kame (a turtle). She was cute, and so small!!!!
I didn't have net at the weekend T__T I'm lucky I have some stuff I haven't read or watch yet. But I missed net! the repairman make it work really fast!!!! +__+

And I'm really nervous, because I sill don't know anything about school, and only 2 weeks left. I have to find a place too, where I can stay at least for the next few month. Waaaaaaaaaaaa

Today's program: read Nana manga, comment some fic and learn japanese. And I should write a letter to my japanese teacher. I think she is back to Japan since july.

bai-bai

Sometimes, for the sake of protecting themselves
Whilst not knowing it, they will tell some pitiful lies
However to lie to others
in actual fact, one's own self is getting hurt
That is why, only to one's own heart, do not betray it.

The reason for living, no one knows.
That is why, people are struggling with hardship
But, that is while not being able to see the opposite side of things
That is why, even with hardship, there is hope of overcoming them
Because of that, we are existing and living

People are continuously seeking others.
But, when things become unbearable, they push the responsibility onto others.
During those times, people want to try giving others something personal
Only by doing so will they see what can’t hurt them

There is no textbook teaching humans how to live
If it is one’s own decision I think that chosen path is the right one
But what is important is to be able to go back and repeat with courage
No matter how many times, humans can always restart.

People indeed have two faces
The ugly one alone is not all that you are
What’s important is to confront the opposite you without averting your eyes
Because being human is having both of them within you

People end up believing the things that appear right before their eyes
Never confirming whether they are real or not…
But, what’s truly precious is intimacy.
It might be invisible like the atmosphere, but it is there.

Today was somehow fucked up, but it was good in the same time.
My night was bad too, my neck started to hurt yesterday and because of that very time I moved in my sleep I woke up in pain. It become worse. In the morning I wasn't able to move. It was terrible, and it hurt very much. My cousin woke up because I was crying. It's better now, but still hurt a little, esp when I move too fast. I hope it will be gone when I wake up tomorrow!!!
And I was so angry just an hour ago, but it went away already. We were asked to clean up a house a little, and when I do my part it's piss me off when the others don't do anything. But my anger went away when she started do it. Waaaaaaaaaa

The good part of the day was that we went shopping and I find a few things and they weren't even expensive. I bought a shots, a boots, some tops and sweaters ^__^
Tomorrow we are going to go to shopping too. I want to have some presents for my family. I hope I will find some good stuff for them, and of course for myself too!!!!

I'm usually not in the mood to write something, but I want to after all. I watched Tsubasa no Oreta Tenshitachi already and I like the things written at the end of the episodes, so i will post them. (Credit goes to the translatior)
That all
Bye~bye

I'm here!!!!
My first flight was good! I thought I will be fright out, but it was more than ok!!! The only bad thing was that my legs hurt like hell when we arrived because I hate to sit in a normal position, it's very uncomfortable!!!!
It was strange that people all around me speaks english!! In the airport I dropped something and a man standing behind me pick it up and I was: Arigat....Thank you! And almost do it again a lot of time!!! Sometimes it would be much more easier to speak in japanese for me
I bring some dorama and jmovie with me /and some KAT-TUN stuff of course/ and the Death Note anime. Now half of the house watch Death Note all the time, I will join them when they get there where I stopped watching it ^__^ I have Junjou with me too, but it's not like anybody here would like it!
We bought net!!!! I was happy because I was able to download Cartoon, but it wasn't what I was waiting for T__T I hope tomorrow it will be!!!
Going to sleep soon!!!!
Bye-bye

Tomorrow, well today I'm going to England. Almost packed everything, but I left little things for tomorrow.
It looks looks I won't have net for 2 weeks. I will miss tomorrow's Cartoon T__T and a lot of fic update T_T. I hope I will find a net cafe si sometimes I will be able to check what's going on!

now going to bed!!!! I wasn't able to sleep properly in the past 2 days!!!!! so I'm very sleepy now!!!
おざすみ!!!

またね

仁!!! お誕生日おめでとう!!!!
Jin, Happy birthday!!!!! ♥

Yesterday's Cartoon was so good!!!! I laughed so much on Jin part!!!! And Ueda was cute too!!
Next week's seem to be interesting as well!!!!! Can't wait to see it!!! I hope my cousin has an internet connection because without it I'm sure I will go crazy.

I should start to clean my room, because I'm going to UK next week and I want to leave here a nice and clean room.
Urrrrr!!! It would be so great if my net wouldn't die every 5 minutes so I can download Strawberry Shortcake already!!! Please!!!!!

Oh, and Happy birthday to Massu too!!!!


I'm going to eat watermelon now!!! Or something and then watermelon!!!! I'm hungry. I should eat lunch, but it's dinner time so maybe I can all it dinner.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　またね

Uwaaaaa!!!! I'm overly happy!!!! just a while ago I checked Oguri Shun page in dramawiki and I saw he will be in Snakes and Earrings!!!!!! I read the book /by Kanehara Hitomi/ and I loved it!!! I'm so curious about who will Shun play!!!! I will try to looking for it!!!!! Wanna see it!!!!

Today was funny. I slept till 11:40 ( but gone to bed 3:30 so it's not that much). In the afternoon I was helping to my mother to bake some cake and while we were chatting and I was foolin around like always I said "I have a new love! Miura Haruma" and she was "Then what's with Jin????". Hahaha " Of course I love Jin the most!!!" Well yea, my whole family know I'm crazy!!!

And now I'm going to do some exercise (I know! it's midnight) and then watch Cartoon or Gokusen!!!! Or both!!!
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